Am i busy? So lost in touch with blogging ever since i have red eyes.
Basically too lazy and tired to write anything, it seems everyone's blog have juicy stuff to introduce, like new dishes , new place to dine, new HP in line, new season of fashion.
Mine?? seems like new complains and more new whinings!
Realise i have grow a bit old to whine about life, i give myself a chance to relex and cool down once i am out of camp. It seems i only complain issue about my camp to my own section mates, its seems to be a way that i kill time with. Realise that doing duty is always so boring, people starts talking about each other back to past their time, there is no secret here. It spread like fish market, i guesse gossiping is no longer a woman's hobby, man can do better now.. erm is that a good sign?

Congrat to my elder sis who found someone really nice to look after here?  Where is mine then ?!
I suppose i need more time to dissolve all past issue first, like many friends like to tell me, give myself a break from all possible harm, i need a good and wholesome healing.

Planned a number of things to acheive from the very start of the years ,erm, seems that not much things have been done, determination wise i have failed terribely. Proberly one more try for me again, maybe a few more, until i reach it, who said 21 is the adult symbol, even with so much thing that one can experienced, it seems not enough for me to fully bloomed, or perhap is my character being too "unique", i need to know myself again, maybe you can tell me about myself.

Time to workout, wish all my friends well, i do miss you guys.

BOOOO!!

I'm having RED Eyes, UK call it PINK Eyes(yeap sounds sweet), Alright for like 12 days!

Swollen right eyes, make me wear sun glasses if i have to step out of my house.

This whole week is speedy. Almost 2 weeks just boom and ended like this.

Sale for underwear, and i bought 4 boxers and 3 sport briefs , lucky 7 , just the right number. I guesse 45 bucks isn't too expensive, isn't it. Looking at my old and totally uncle underwears, i guesse its time for time to say hello to the recycle bin, who wants it. E-BAY? maybe lol. Boy's wore underwear for sale!!

went to the japanese food fair at tamp mall, at erm, selling stuffs not that attractive actually, just that the word jap make it look wonderful. Cuttlefish with rice filling was ok, toriyaki taste healthy  less salty from the regular one we get at normal outlets, ice cream is less sweet compared to our famous ben and jerry which forever so rich in taste. Whatever is it, still is a good exp to just stroll around the fair.

Ho ya there is a simpson movie display for us to take pic, rather cute.

Isn't it colorful, i'm siting on his head, my sis said that it looks abit RA, well its ok la.

Harry potter that i catch today, isn't so great too, its not boring, its entertaining, but the ending is almost the same as the previous 4 harry series, the bad guy run away, harry injured, recover, and tata, show ends.

one more day and back to camp, bye long mc days, and ho my, back to hell, i guesse my camp mate ain't gonna be happy for my sick leaves, well, red eyes dun come easy and i did suffer, hey its balanced ok... 
sobx/

I'm feeling so odd alright, i just wanna scream. So many things happened, after 21 birthday i thought everything will change for the better, i guesse i still have to work hard!

Hey i am still fatty bom with extra meat on my face, finally a braces on, hope that this metal cage on my teeth really will work, faster shift the place ok, your daddy here wanna it to look awesome!

yeap, gotton the MC king award i guesse, after surgery. now to my eyes infection, i think i top the chart, but.. who cares.. rurmor still goes for me in camp, whatever topic, i am always a topic anyway.

i thinking why is my bmt having like almost no mc rate, i guesse my vocation now really sucks.

After watching 200 pounds beauty from youtube,ho my i am such a cheapo, i guesse many people did the same thing. watch online ,free wat~
The song "Byul "from the movie is so touching, Kim ah joong haven't finish the song, i am already crying, it reminds me so much of my past due to the lyrics, the song is about a love that you wouldn't get, but you put in effort and you are alright with it. Its so one sided.


Manika had returned to Nepal, due to my camp duty, i could not send her. i am real upset about it, luckily i get to call her before she leaves, just can't content this upset feeling, friendship is so important to me especially at this state of my life. i'm telling myself whichever friend make me angry and upset, i will be very forgiving, friends don't come easy.
Many situations we could not control but at least we put our heart into it, everyone make mistake, as long as we look back, we feel no regret, even with regret, we had put in our best effort.

alright some pictures to show this month entry, ok i am a lazy pig.

21 years old lor. Black Forest Cake, yummy cherries.

Celebratin with Star buck drinks, how pathetic -_-

meeting up with "mum" and "cookie", hoya and kelvin too.(not in pic)


A birthday card designed by y friend, kel

Scary Pic, Dango on my sexy lips, buaha

Recently i am busying with, planing of my after ORD life. 
Borrowing books from library, wallking on the street, looking at what people are doing and working as.
It is time to know what i want, and i roughly scribble out on my notes book.
It might not seems too realistic, but it is some dream jobs i look forward to.

Graphic designer?
Chinese Radio DJ
Fashion magazine editor?
Event Manager?

Alot of doors are closed due to the IT DIP i am holding now. i have no intend to continue to further IT.
How about social science in NUS or SMU. ? will they accept me ?

It seems i need alot more experience to took out a dream job, thinking of learning from designer's from my friend's design flim, but will he allow me to do that?
Too much question marks make me ponder.
I need the correct time and chance , and of coz i will as hardworking to achieve it

For the time being, i  will look for more routes to the creative line, coming 21 soon. No longer i will want to waste my time doing nothing and idle the time that already been a waste serving army.
But it seems army will further block my path of practices of the time being, i have to work it through, this is so stressful. i wonder those sucessful people, what did they really do? or are they so fated to have a the life they are having now, how much they fight for it.

Is this true that richer family with a doctor mummy and a lawyer daddy will provide child with a brighter future. I really distaste the idea, but it seems quite true at times. Well, those who are born not rich but work hard to do better, i am proud of you guys. 
Haiz maybe i just don't wish to be too ordinary.

Feel like going out of a walk.
hey psss . There is still some light for me to work at creative industry, i tell guys this next year alright.
PMS again, i guesse i write until here.. 
... feel like going for a oversea tour, where is the money. Better earn them fast..

Some memories are to remind you that you are once loved, it comforts you, but some memories haunt you badly, they tell you how much you have been tore apart.

if you are happy at the moment , will you even think about the old past , the people who contribute these happiness?
Waking from my little lonely bed,  i seems to remember the one who hurt me most recently, i am thinking, why did i willing to put in so much effort? The power of love, or just the selfish heart yearn too much for concern. 
The night walking home with my own umbrella, receiving your unthoughtful message of not even a sorry.
Now you are loving someone else, this is life?
I believe you are a very good lesson, you teach me adulthood, adulthood means cold and realistic, you deliever your harsh lesson well.

i missed Melbourne so much , because simply i know some part of my love is furfilled, like married to the country, to the people there temporarily. No one cares what you do, i'm just worried of getting bored and out of cash.

i missed poly years so much, all the freedom and laughter, and the outing, never a moment of idle. i want my life be more filled up. Everyone is busy now, and i am complaining about i, but what can we do, maybe i am just too being a spoilt, i should understand each have our life, people leave and come. i just don't like the ideal of people going off, but how much control a human can affort.

i missed my primary school year where i know how to study, sleep, phone, eat and shit. Simple as hell, isn't it?
Maybe is hard to grow up, am i rejecting growing up or what, so many incidents had trashed me , my heart should already been seasoned.

Now all i wanted is the contentment i could search within myself, i realise is not so easy to achieve. Too much care and concern i kept giving , is time to give myself some love too. it seems my heart is thirsty for peace.

Today is the 3rd day, my blue black from the eyes after dental surgery still persist. I am utterly worried, will it be forever? It sounds like vain pot complaining, but hey, who wants a dark blue black on their eyes for life when their intetion is just to put on braces only?

I wake up in the morning, looking at the mirror and i wanna scream, my left eye have a super ugly blue black as if i have not sleep for a week.
My face is more swollen, and my nose too. Call the hospital only tell me to use ice pack to contract my injured nerve after the surgery, is plucking out teeth so destructive.

i don't wanna become a Ghost !
Sob.. will it recover at all!

I thought having Mc at home will be like prince a like holiday, nothing please me so much except for the Princess hours korean drama i have been watching all day long.
i am like eating food staple not a proper meal, having dental surgery is not as easy as i thought. I am eating apple snack in semi liquid mould form, waterly porriage ,  drinking milk, some hot chocolate, icy ice-cream to calm my sore gum and instant  campbell soup
.

it just taste lousy!


Feel like going for a slow jog, but how am i going to do that, feel like cycling at ECP, nice weather after rain isn't it. Someone cheer me up please, where have my friends gone, everyone seems so busy, i have to start to accept, my circle isn't that simple, friends will get married one day, have children and become more busy.Now is just an introduction.

Maybe a warm bath and some nice dessert will make me happier later, am i hard to please.
Afterall i am not a prince. 
Wahaha!~~

It took me so many hours to consider whether to switch from blogspot to livejournal. Already so familar to blogspot, making love to it like four years. 
Every emotions, most of what happened all recorded, it is about 450 entries now.
Looking back i had already lost so much privacy , showing my most ugly side, most unattractive picture, most  embarrassing moments.. and most broken English.
Is it time to, ermm ermm, seal it off abit, but why blog when you want to conseal so many things.
Maybe it is good to be honest anyway.
Some people blog to grap attention, i happened to know a someone who wrote so beautifully, but behaving the opposite ways. 

i guess the best reason i gonna blog remains unchanged, i just wish to update my friend about my life.
Especially to friends who went aboard to study or work, went back to homeland after schooling like my dear Manika , who is coming back this june for a short break and to attend her graduation.
To update schoolmates who all been so busy now, all are all leading different path, and worst, i am serving NS now, even harder to arrange time like i do last time. 
Student is the best job ever. The Classic.

updates!

Many event have been over, many 21th birthdays, and mine is coming soon next month, I'm a Gemini the twins, therefore it means that birthday gifts also must be double.
21 coming hope things can really be different, better life,  no longer moody and emotional. Many people said i think and do things all based on the heart, maybe i should let the brain do more of it's work.

14june: my birthday upcome with  rannie's new movie ,i wanna catch it !(showing at the same date as my day)
 
The spider lilies, watched the preview, really loving it, it's another well done homosexual movie after the eternal summer. 

Happened there was a korean gay movie( No Regret) who is played discreetly at only 9 cinemas, sells very well in seoul dispite being so low profile. Seriously i have no chance watching it yet.
.
Look at that smile, isn't it nice. Today i went for my dental surgery, wearing braces soon hopefully.
i want that kind of smile too! good bye ugly teeth in two years time.!

You will know who care about you :when you need them the most, they will show you with their action.
Thanks for all the concerns and sms, hope my mouth heal soon, i already miss solid food.